It’s already been two weeks since the New Year and one question remains: “Will I make any resolutions this year?”
When I was a teenager, I followed the trend without really understanding what it meant. I said that I would have to be careful about what I was going to eat, even though I wasn't the one who did the grocery shopping and managed the meals. I told myself that I would exercise more, even though I spent a good part of my free time running in the woods, climbing trees and I didn't miss any ed class.
Without even understanding that there was nothing wrong with my lifestyle, I had the feeling of not being good enough, of not doing enough, of having to change my body, of having to follow a diet, to finally be beautiful. My resolutions ended up disappearing into oblivion but these thoughts where my body is never beautiful enough, thin, strong, smooth, remained for the whole year. You're going to tell me "yeah, well the media message on the woman's body remains the same all year long you know." and you're right. (Although it's changing and that's amazing.)
Today, a little over ten years later, I am about to choose my resolutions and still, the urge to criticize my body is there. It makes me sad that, even with the years, my little voice continues to believe that to have value in the eyes of others, I must meet certain standards of beauty, I must perform in all areas of my life, I must be "perfect". Not too nice but never mean, always calm and rational, just ambitious and driven enough, not too much otherwise I become "bossy" and so on. Don't get me wrong, I am not these things but I feel like I should be in order to have value in the eyes of others.
So, I quiet down the little voice in my head for a few minutes to choose my resolutions:
1. Be nicer to myself
2. Say NO when I don't want something and respect myself
3. Every time I criticize myself, I give myself two compliments (with the long-term goal of focusing on my qualities rather than my flaws)
4. Be clear about what I want and need (affection, support, listening, peace, etc.) and tell the people around me
5. Take less responsibility for the intentions, thoughts and emotions of others, ask for clarifications so as to not make any assumptions
I think these resolutions are a good way to start feeling better in my body and in my head. To quote someone important to me "Happiness comes from the head and not from the body". If you tend to also be a little hard on yourself, I invite you to take inspiration from these resolutions to make your own.
Big love,
The Monsters xx